Of Anniversaries and Presents
by Edward's Josie Black
Summary: CM Punk has no idea what to get his girlfriend for their one-year anniversary. Fortunately, John Cena's fiancee--and Punk's girlfriend's bandmate--has the perfect plan. But will the four make it to the evening without any casualties? Punk/OC, Cena/OC
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I promised this to Rhiannon Leigh Black aaages ago. I owe her a oneshot that isn't this one, but I want to write this as well…so at least she has something to enjoy in case it takes me another four months…I don't own Rynne Janine, CM Punk, or John Cena. This oneshot was actually inspired by my friend's Valentine's Day gift to his girlfriend. Thanks, Daniel, although you're never going to read this. Ever.

Of Anniversaries and Presents

"**What am I going to do?" Punk muttered to himself, staring blankly at the ceiling.**

**Today was their one-year anniversary, and he desperately needed to think of a gift for his girlfriend. However, he just couldn't see how he was going to meet her specifications. "Remember," she had said with a stern glare, "I don't want anything alive, expensive, or seafoam green. Especially not expensive." Presently, he sighed. He wanted to do something creative and thoughtful and romantic, but he had to admit he was drawing a blank on any of the above.**

"**Are you still agonizing over the present?"**

**He turned his head to look at said girlfriend, who was lying on her side facing him. A lock of hair fell over one eye, and he propped himself up on one elbow and tucked it behind her ear.**

"**Of course not," he smirked in manner he hoped was deceiving.**

**Judging by the smile she was trying to hide, however, she wasn't buying it. However, her lips curved into a real smile as she snuggled closer to him.**

"**Happy anniversary, Punker."**

"**Happy anniversary to you, too. It doesn't seem like it's been a year, does it?"**

"**I don't know. It sometimes feels like I've known you forever."**

**He swooped in for a kiss, and received no objections from Rynne, who looped her arms around his neck. He pulled away too soon, flashing that lopsided grin of his that never failed to make her smile.**

"**As much as I'd love to just lie here in bed with you all day…I really can't. I'm meeting Cena for a workout, but I'll be back right after…"**

**Rynne pulled a face.**

"**You'd rather get sweaty with an ape than spend quality time with your girlfriend? And on your anniversary, no less?"**

"**It's not that, it's just…"**

"**Yeah, yeah…training, yadda yadda yadda…" she said with an eye roll. "I can't believe you."**

**She pouted and grabbed hold of his hand to keep him from leaving.**

"**Stay for breakfast?"**

"**I can't," he said, looking genuinely apologetic, "but if you hurry, you can come with."**

"**And be within ten feet of the aforementioned sweaty ape? Ew, I'll leave that to Leesie, thanks."**

**He sat up and shrugged.**

"**Have it your way."**

"**Besides, if I stay behind, you'll have some time to figure out a present."**

"**Haha…funny, aren't we?"**

"**You know you love me."**

**He leaned over and kissed her temple.**

"**That I do."**

**He dressed and grabbed his gym bag, by which time Rynne was moving about the room beginning her morning routine.**

"**You're sure you're not coming?" Punk asked as he opened the door to exit into the hallway.**

**She nodded, falling into step beside him as the pair headed down the stairs.**

"**Yeah. I'll find something to do. I'll be fine. Just hurry back. And whatever Cena suggests…**_**please**_** don't actually listen to him."**

**He glanced over at her with a succinct nod as he unlocked the front door.**

"**Got it."**

**With that final promise, Punk kissed her lightly.**

"**I'll be back soon."**

"**I'll be waiting with bated breath. And I cannot wait to see what you get," she added sing-songingly.**

_**Me neither,**_** he thought as he walked down the driveway.**

**~*~**

"Hey…you're late," Punk said, annoyed, as John Cena exited his "Chicago car," a large duffel slung over his shoulder.

John chuckled and shook his head.

"Yeah, sorry about that. We, er, lost track of ti--"

"Ugh. Dude, too much info," Punk grimaced. "I told Rynne I'd be back soon. It's our anniversary."

"Yeah, and _I _won the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania last night. Not to mention, I have Raw tapings tonight. I'm sorry, but I have priorities."

"Ew…"

The two Superstars headed into the gym, but their conversation continued.

"Hey, what can I say? We like to celebrate."

"I _know_," the Straightedge Superstar said with a frown. "Can we please stop discussing your sex life and focus on _my _issues for once?"

"You sure?" John questioned, setting his bag on the locker room bench.

"_Yes,_" the Chicagoan replied emphatically.

"Okay, but let's not try to cover _all_ of them. That could take awhile, and my fiancée and I--"

"Are as hormonal as teenagers. Why do I put up with you, again?"

"Because our significant others are bandmates and practically life partners minus the lesbianism…although--"

"_Don't _even say it."

"Fine. But you put up with me because you love Rynne and I love Leesie, and they're close. Hence, we go to the gym together."

"Honestly? I'm not even up for a workout today," Punk sighed, sitting on the bench.

John followed suit.

"So, Phillip, what troubles you?"

"You're going to have to stop the psychiatrist crap, or I swear to God…"

"Touchy today, aren't we?"

"Well, of course. Today's our one-year anniversary, and I have no idea what to get her."

John shook his head empathetically.

"I had the same problem a couple months ago."

"What'd you do?"

"Called Rynne, of course. I ended up doing something completely different, but she helped give me some ideas."

"Oh…"

"I don't have to tell you where _I _went," John said suggestively.

Punk scooted further down the bench, looking disturbed.

"Does _everything_ have to come back to your sex life?"

"When are you going to admit you're just jealous because you're not getting any?"

"When are _you_ going to stop bragging about it like a high school kid?"

"When it stops being amazi--"

"You're lucky Leesie likes you."

John smirked.

"I know. And she _loves _when I--"

"Dammit, Felix! Are you going to help or not?"

"Okay, okay. Calm down. I'm sorry. Look, just call Leesie. She's really good with the mushy, romantic stuff."

Punk considered this suggestion a moment before nodding.

"Okay…that actually makes sense."

"I've been known to do that from time to time."

"Yeah, occasionally."

With that, Punk pulled out his phone and called F4's bassist. She answered on the second ring, her voice cheery.

"Hey, Punk. What'd you need?"

"Well, I'm actually calling to ask you a question."

"Shoot."

"Today's our anniversary, and--"

"And you are at a loss as to what to get Rynne, because she told you she didn't want anything expensive, seafoam green, expensive, alive, or expensive. Furthermore, she doesn't want anything expensive. And you're not creative enough at the moment to think of anything romantic, original, and inexpensive."

"Um…pretty much, actually. How'd you know?"

"I could tell you I'm just that good, but, actually, she just called."

"Oh…nice."

"Is my future husband behaving?"

Punk rolled his eyes.

"Well, to be fair, he's only spent about 50% of the time trying to mention your sex life."

"Oh, dear God…Sorry he was late, by the way."

On the other end of the phone, Leesie was blushing slightly, but a smile graced her lips. As she spoke to her bandmate's boyfriend, she was browsing the internet for ideas.

"It's okay. So, any ideas?"

"Yeah, actually. Meet me at the Wal-Mart on North Ave in ten."

"I'll be there."

"Awesome. Can I talk to John, please?"

"Yeah, sure."

Punk handed the phone to John, who was smiling like a kid hopelessly in love with his first girlfriend. Frankly, it was a bit frightening sometimes.

"Hey, Babe."

"Hey, Hun. I need to ask you a favor."

"Oh?"

"Not _that_ kind of favor," she said, exasperated. "I need you to get Rynne out of the house and keep her occupied."

"Erm…what?"

"Go see a movie or something. I don't know, and I don't care. You'll think of something. Punk and I need the house."

"But--"

"She isn't going to hurt you."

"She usually does…" he mumbled.

"Oh, for the love of God. Suffer through it, okay? For me?"

John glanced over at Punk and sighed.

"Fine. I'm sure I can think of some way you can make it up to me."

Leesie snorted and rolled her eyes.

"We'll see."

"Hey, I thought this morning w--"

"Johnathan. Could you please not traumatize our favorite Phillip more than necessary? I'm going to call Rynne and have her get ready for the movies--you can pick her up in half an hour. At least if you see a movie you won't be speaking."

"_Hey_."

"You know _I _love you, Hun, but I know that if given the opportunity, you're liable to say something to piss Rynne off and make her want to go home. That's also why I'm having you go get her, but there's no reason why she wouldn't just hop the bus and go home."

"You're lucky I love you."

"I know. Believe me, I'd ask someone else if there were anyone else in the city I trusted with this task. But Morgan and Amber are both out-of-town, and it's too short-notice for anyone back home to come help…And Rynne and Maria are far from friends."

"So I'm the last resort?"

"Quite honestly, yes."

"Oh, thanks."

"Anytime."

"All right; I'll take the drummer to the movies."

Punk turned, obviously a bit perturbed.

"You're doing _what_?"

"Give him the phone, Sweetheart. I'll call as soon as we're ready."

John held up a hand to silence his dark-haired companion while answering his fiancée.

"Okay. Be careful--traffic's a bitch at the moment."

"I will. Love you."

"I love you, too."

John handed the phone back to Punk.

"She wants to talk to you."

"Yeah?"

"We can't have Rynne at the house with my plan. There's no other option. You know full well John is anything but disrespectful. Seriously, would I be engaged to him if he were completely lacking in redeeming qualities?"

"I know, Leesie. But I wouldn't put it past him, once in the theater, to mistake her for you and try to cop a feel."

"Please. Give me _some_ credit!" John protested. "I'm intimately familiar with what Leesie looks like in the dark."

"Dammit, John!" Leesie yelled loudly enough for him to hear. "Do you have to turn _everything_ into something dirty?!"

Punk winced.

"That was my ear."

"…sorry. We really need to get started, though, so I'm going to have to let you go."

"Okay."

"See you soon."

"Yeah. Bye."

"Bye!"

Punk flipped his phone shut and addressed John a final time.

"You'll be dead three times over if you mistake my girlfriend for Leesie."


	2. Chapter 2

"Glad you made it," Leesie said brightly, stepping forward to hug Punk in greeting.

"So," he said, pulling away. "What's this plan of yours?"

"Okay. What's Rynne's favorite pasta?"

"Umm…it's this pasta her grandma makes. Shells with sauce."

"That's what I thought, too. Well, we're not making that," Leesie said matter-of-factly. "It'd never live up to the original, and she'd just spend the whole evening comparing the two. So you're making something completely different."

"Wait. I'm going to cook?"

She laughed outright at the aghast expression on his face.

"Yes, but with my help. It's going to be fine. Trust me on this one."

"Okay," he said after a pause. "So what am I making?"

The bassist grinned.

"Fettuccine Carbonara."

"Er…what?"

"Just trust me; it's going to be amazing. And she's going to love it."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah. She had pasta envy when I made it for John once. It's going to be a hit."

"And you're sure?"

"Absolutely. Especially if you get some candles, and set the table. Extra credit for mood music."

Punk offered a smile of gratitude.

"Rennings, you're a lifesaver."

"So I'm told," she said, reaching for a cart. "Now let's get moving--we have a dinner to make and a drummer to impress."

"Lead on."

~*~

"Coming!"

Smiling, Rynne sauntered to the door and flung it open. Her grin faded, however, as she realized that it wasn't Punk who stood on the stoop.

"I'm going to _kill _your fiancée, Cena," she declared, pushing the door closed.

He blocked the door, holding it open.

"I promised I'd behave."

"Well, you'd better. Or I'll tell Leesie on you and she's liable to go celibate. And we know what happens when she denies you sex…"

He shuddered.

"Don't remind me."

"I cannot believe she stuck me with you."

"Whatever her plan is, it involves you being out of the house."

Rynne sighed dramatically.

"You touch me, you will pay."

"Oh, calm down. As I told your boyfriend, I am intimately familiar with what Leesie looks like in the dark."

"Next time you mention your sex life, I'm kneeing you in the balls."

"Is that what you call a friendly warning?"

"Haha, funny. Let's go so we can end the suffering sooner."

"As you wish. My car or yours?"

She smirked.

"One thing I'll give you is that your car is definitely cooler than mine. So let's take yours. But only if I can drive."

John gaped at her.

"I don't even let Leesie drive that car--not unless she--OW!"

He doubled over in pain, and Rynne took the keys from his hand before sauntering to the driver's door.

"I didn't even--"

"You were going to."

"Fair enough," he said, walking up to the driver's side window. "But that's my car."

"I know. If you want it to remain safe, I suggest you come with me."

"This is the only way to get you away from the house, isn't it?"

"Yep."

"Leesie, babe, you'd better appreciate this," he muttered to himself, climbing into the passenger seat of his own car.

"Oh, I'm sure she will. You know she's a sucker for mushy stuff. You're sure to at least get a decent makeout session for your troubles." Rynne shuddered delicately as she started the car. "Ew, those are not enjoyable images."

"Yeah, 'cause you know I'm a much better kisser than Punk."

"Ew. I don't even want to think about that."

"Because you know it's never going to happen. I love my girl."

"Awww, how cute. But wrong. I don't want to kiss you because I enjoy kissing my boyfriend, thanks."

"Mmhmm--HEY! Drive between the lines. This car ends up with so much as a scratch, and I'm working stiff on your man the next time I get the chance."

"Chill. It'll be fine."

"It'd _better_."

"So…what is it we're going to see?"

~*~

Five minutes later, Leesie and Punk pulled into the driveway.

"I'll unlock the door and start pulling pots and stuff out. You start bringing stuff in, okay?"

"Will do."

Leesie took the keys from him with a smile and turned on her heel before flouncing up the drive. She headed toward the kitchen, humming happily to herself. As she passed the iHome, she stopped and pulled out her iPod, attaching it to the speakers and pressing "play." Green Day's "Know Your Enemy" began to play, and she sang along as she set to work digging out the things they'd need for the meal.

"I see you didn't waste any time," Punk said, dumping several grocery bags onto the counter.

"No. Silence is the enemy."

"And your music is too happy."

"Shut up; at least it's not country."

He considered this a moment before speaking.

"Okay, good point."

"Of course it is. I said it. Go get the rest of the stuff."

"That's everything."

"No it's not, Phillip. You left my Coke Zero."

"What?"

"Don't play coy with me. Get me my beverage. Or. Else."

"Or else what?"

"Or I'll leave. And I've got the recipe."

"You wouldn't."

"I would."

"I don't want that shit in my house."

"It comes in or I'm leaving," she challenged, heading toward the door.

He grabbed her by the shoulders to stop her.

"Don't go! I've got nothing if you leave me."

"Aww, that's cute, Punk. But I'm taken."

"You know what I meant."

"Go get my pop."

"Okay, fine. I'll go."

"That's what I thought."

As he headed off, she grabbed two glasses from the cupboard and filled both with ice. She poured Punk a Pepsi and was digging for her secret stash of Coke Zero when he returned.

"What are you doing?"

"I was…"

"Looking for your stash?" he asked with a smirk. "We dumped 'em down the sink a week ago."

"Dammit. I hate you."

"Psh, don't lie."

"I'm not lying. You'd have hunted down my fiancée and kicked him in the head already if I'd done the same to you."

"Of course. Because Pepsi is the nectar of the gods."

"It is not."

"Is too. I don't know how you can drink that."

"I don't know how you can be so prejudiced!"

"That stuff is disgusting."

"It is NOT!"

He leaned over her, defiant.

"It is SO."

She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Six inch rule! Or I'm going to tell my fiancée on you and he's gonna--"

"He's gonna _what_, exactly?" he asked coolly. "Please. I'm more afraid of my girlfriend than I am of him."

She glared. He poked her in the cheek.

"Oooh, see?"

"Psh, and you claim not to know why you "put up with" John. It's because, deep down, you're both men who enjoy picking on, well, everyone."

"Oh, don't even. I'm nothing like him."

"You know full well he's off with Rynne driving her insane. And not in the way he does me," she added with a smirk.

"Not you, too!" he exclaimed, banging his head against the fridge.

"Yep. Oh, don't tell me you're any better, Punk. You just have other means."

"I'm nothing like your ape!"

"Mmhmm," Leesie said skeptically, pulling out her cell phone.

Two button presses later and she was talking to Rynne, and it was clear she meant for him to hear her.

"Hey, Twinny…I know, I know. I'm sorry. There wasn't another option. Please don't hurt him…Ugh, if you must, he won't need those tonight…So, I take it he's driving you insane?…Okay, okay…Your dear significant other denies the fact that he and John both have an insane preoccupation with being irritating at inopportune times…That's what I said…He insulted my beverage choice!…Shut up, no one asked you…Nah, I was just calling to let you know that the surprise is off. I'm going home…Because your boyfriend is being a douche, that's why…Mmhmm. Bye."

As she finished the conversation, Leesie was stepping into her flip-flops and walking toward the door. She had just put her phone into her pocket when a pleading voice reached her ears.

"Don't go!"

"I don't have to put up with this."

"But--"

"No. I'm trying to help you out of the goodness of my heart, and all you've done is complain. You're being a baby. And then you went so far as to--"

"How can I make it up to you?"

She smirked.

"You could try begging."

Immediately, the raven-haired Superstar was on his knees, gazing up at Leesie imploringly.

"Please help me. I've got nothing if you leave me."

Unable to keep a straight face any longer, she laughed outright.

"Just as I said," she commented smugly. "Exactly like John."

He stood, irritated.

"Okay, point taken. Can we please get to work now?"

"Yeah. But first…top my glass off, will you?"


End file.
